The art of asking questions and inviting others to think together

“Why do we humans have two ears but only one mouth?” (loosely based on Watzlawick)

This question comes to mind when I find myself in supposed exchanges (not with customers!) where I first listen for 20 minutes and get the impression that someone has to explain the world to me first, or that I am interchangeable as a conversation partner.
What sounds a little sarcastic has a serious background. Unfortunately, I am finding that “sending” is increasingly at the forefront of human encounters. Now, I am a curious person and take a keen interest in my surroundings, and I enjoy listening actively. As a consultant, this is not an unfavorable trait. However, I am finding it increasingly exhausting.

“For your information, I would like to ask you a few questions.”
(often attributed to Kurt Lewin, but the exact origin is unknown)

What at first glance sounds like a paradoxical remark reveals a deeper truth about interpersonal communication upon closer inspection. Questions are much more than mere tools for gathering information. They are an expression of interest, a means of shaping relationships, and a driver for joint thinking and understanding.
Good questions not only inform the questioner—they also activate the other person’s thinking and enable a change of perspective. They do not challenge, but invite: to think, to exchange ideas, to reflect. A clever question can inspire more than any well-intentioned answer. It creates space for new perspectives and opens up possibilities instead of setting limits.

Asking questions is not merely a technique that can be quickly learned—it is an inner attitude.

·     Those who ask questions demonstrate a willingness to engage with others.
·     Those who ask questions show respect and invite others to participate in shaping the future.
·     Those who listen without immediately judging reveal genuine interest.
·     Those who want to understand instead of jumping to conclusions enable communication that connects rather than divides.

In a world where quick answers and fixed opinions often count more than open dialogue, the art of asking questions is an act of slowing down – and of appreciation. It focuses on dialogue instead of monologue, on thinking together instead of appeasing and trying to convince.

Every good question is a silent invitation: to understand, to gain insight, to engage in discourse and, ultimately, to work together.
What else is it worth? Problems are solved together and common problems are given a basis for solution.